(Source: aheartwithawhy, via fairy---land)

(Source: staypozitive, via thestoryofabipolarbear)

Motivation to avoid Bulimia/Bulimic Tendencies.

fragileminded:

I struggled a lot trying to make it through thursday and friday, but friday night I wrote a list that changed my perspective. A wakeup call or something like that. 

My list is personal but I thought I’d share it anyway. A list of things I have to lose, terrible side effects of bingeing and purging and how it will feel when I’m done. My list is called “If I binge and purge….”

  • Water bloat. I’ll feel disgusted and fatter than I already do.
  • My face is going to be swollen. 
  • I’ll feel ugly and self conscious because of this. 
  • January will be hard economically if I waste my money on binge food. 
  • If I have another seizure I’ll be benched for another year. (I’ll probably want to kill myself if this happens)
  • I’m going to be disappointed
  • Regrets.
  • Anger and self-hate
  • …will trigger an intense need to cut myself which will be just another worry.
  • If I cut myself… let’s not even to there. 
  • I’m going to drown in shame because I didn’t make it, let myself down.
  • I’ll have to wash my apartment time after time which isn’t necessary if I don’t. 
  • It’s going to be a thousand times harder to start over because the motivation I have right now will be flushed down the drain, along with everything else.
  • I’m going to be scared when my heart starts working on overdrive. 

Fourteen things. One decision. Two options; yes or no. If I choose to binge and purge all of these things will happen and a few of these are “might’s”. If I choose not to binge and purge, NONE of these things will happen. Seeing it like this made it easy for me to say NO loud and clear and stick with it. 

If you’re going through the same thing; write your own list. Did wonders for me. My nurse told me to write this list on a piece of paper the same size as a credit card and then she’s going to laminate it for me on wednesday. It’ll go in my purse with all of my other cards and hopefully rescue me from critical situations where cravings are terrible. 

I’ll post a picture when I get it done! 

(via dyke-recovery)

So I haven’t been around. Hello all.

So I haven’t been around. Hello all.

(Source: , via dyke-recovery)

  • Me: I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.
  • TV: lol but good shows are on.
  • iPod: sleep? Is that a new app?
  • Sleeping position: lol I'm not gonna be comfortable.
  • Mind: what's the meaning of life though?
  • Temperature: lol it's too hot and too cold.
  • Noises: oh, you said be louder? Okay.

(via my-perfect-fake-smile)

(Source: anxietycat)

chronicillnesscat: [Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat with blue eyes. Top text: “You’re lucky to have your life!” Bottom text: You don’t know my life, Bitch.] I hate these people. Two days prior to a statement like this, you tell them you’re going through some stressful things in your life. Then, they find it wise to tell you you’re lucky for some reason or another. Yeah, well screw you.

chronicillnesscat:

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat with blue eyes. Top text: “You’re lucky to have your life!” Bottom text: You don’t know my life, Bitch.]

I hate these people. Two days prior to a statement like this, you tell them you’re going through some stressful things in your life. Then, they find it wise to tell you you’re lucky for some reason or another. Yeah, well screw you.

(via fuckthisdisease)

(Source: thestoryofabipolarbear, via fuckthisdisease)

thestoryofabipolarbear:

One thing you should remember before the New Year.

Don’t enter 2012 thinking you will become a changed person. You will finally be able to have the job you want or finally reach your weight goal.

Enter 2012 as a way to improve the things you’ve done in the year before. 

There is never a new beginning, just a new chapter.